Week 32, where I fall apart

It’s been a really hard week around here. My mom came down with the flu last Friday. She’s never sick so it’s a huge blow when she does come down with something. We knew we relied on her help, we just didn’t know how much. Our friends have been great at offering to help with Emma but yesterday our plans fell apart leaving me to care for Emma alone.

I knew this was going to have an effect on my doctors appointment today. As hard as I tried to stay down, it’s really hard with a 3.5 year old. I wasn’t able to call anyone for help since my “help” kept telling me she’d be here. My help never arrived and I was kicking myself all afternoon.

When we saw the doctor today it was evident that I had become much worse. I’m basically back where I was a few weeks ago. He has doubled my Nifedipine, hoping it will help quite a bit. He also wants to see me flat on my back. We’ll reevaluate our situation again on Monday. Fingers crossed, my mom will be in better shape by this weekend.

To shake things up around here, I’ve been having nosebleeds lately. This is most likely because of the Nifedipine. If they continue my doctor is going to send me to a specialist to stop the bleeds. I’m really hoping the increase in Nifedipine will not have an effect on my nose any more than what’s currently going on.

Today was a little much for me. I’ll admit, I cried a lot. The reality of another 4 weeks of bed rest is setting in and I’m not too thrilled about it.

I understand the reasons.

I know the baby is better off where she is.

I get this. I do.

But I don’t have to like it.

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