I’ve shared a little, very little, of how I have a history of anxiety. I don’t like to talk about it much, for fear it could bring my anxiety back. But lately, I’ve seen more and more people writing about their experiences, and I feel compelled to share mine. Not because I want you to visualize me rocking back and forth in a corner. But I want the shame that is associated with it to go away. There shouldn’t be any embarrassment, or stigmas attached to people who suffer from anxiety disorders. continued
I consider myself a very organized individual. I take pride that our clothes closets are organized by shirt length and color. My pantry is categorized and I’m known as the neighborhood “party planner.” I love that my sister has always asked me for advice on arranging her furniture and I can fit ANY carry on bag in a full overhead compartment. It’s me, it’s who I am. A little OCD, but I enjoy it. Organized chaos is awesome. When it becomes unorganized, watch out.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have been incredibly sick. At times I’m even very depressed. I have a history of anxiety and am so afraid of “falling off the wagon” again. My house is a mess, my toddler is driving me crazy and my husband has been out of “his” soap for over two-weeks. I have lost my balance and I can’t seem to pull it together. I know it will pass once I’m feeling better. But in the mean time, I’m going nuts. The holidays are fast approaching, as is our much needed vacation. As miserable as I am, you can only imagine how my loved ones are feeling trying to keep up with my load.
I feel like I’m failing as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and blogger. Where is the balance? How do I find it again?
How do you find balance when your life is in chaos?